In-Con Sequential Art
Tuesday
Mar312015

We Interrupt This Broadcast...

Intelluctual pursuits over brutes; I'm in cahoots
With the news crews pontificating border disputes
Bull poop, Boss Hogg; you're doin' it wrong
Boob tube's about prostitutes tearin' down icons
My mind loots channel coinage from the upper-level learnin'
'Bout environmental damage from the oil fields burnin'
I wanna relax, not consider the meaning
Behind blah blah or blah blah, six A. M. Town Meeting
While you're yearnin' for your popcorn, I'm rippin' up the harvest
Of the Cosmos while Sagan tells me which galaxy's farthest
Away; Spend my day on the Theatre of Masterpiece
Royal Shakespeare producing histories and tragedies
Well I'd be sooner usin’ my channel choosin’ abilities
To enjoy online streaming episodes of Squidbillies
And magical miniature fillies of popular cultures
To stop justifying silliness to snobular vultures

Give me the god damned remote!
Real World, TED Talk, Splatalot, Why Not, please stop giving me brain rot 
Give me the god damned remote!
New Girl, 30 Days, Paper Say, Rebel’s Way, watch an episode Project Runway
Give me the god damned remote!
Transformers, Bill Nye, Family Guy, SyFy over Science Channel, Babylon 5
Give me the god damned remote!
Craft Corner, PBS, Meet the Press, Johnny Test or Johnny Quest? Shark Week or SeaQuest?

And you guzzle all the soda shows you're thirsty for
Pumpin' brofists while ogling the Jersey Shore
I say no more; none of that, I can't take another
Only George Orwell should have a show named Big Brother
See, you're afraid of reality; well, I'll happily absorb
The hordes of horders, the TLC toddler whores
Pretty pregnant teens more concerned with their pores
Than the welfare of their children -- ooh, look, Storage Wars!
You're livin' off Survivor with a side of Randy Savage
Your reality is that you're backin' brain damage
Slackin' off to Swamp People with that mental masturbation
America's Got Talent and My Big Redneck Vacation
Chillax, Ira Glass, slide to slumber for the night
I'm brainally, brutally beat by Your American Life
E/I Edutainment class warfare with you
Kenneth Burns would drift off watching your Netflix queue

Give me the god damned remote!
Real World, TED Talk, Splatalot, Why Not, please stop giving me brain rot 
Give me the god damned remote!
New Girl, 30 Days, Paper Say, Rebel’s Way, watch an episode Project Runway
Give me the god damned remote!
Transformers, Bill Nye, Family Guy, SyFy over Science Channel, Babylon 5
Give me the god damned remote!
Craft Corner, PBS, Meet the Press, Johnny Test or Johnny Quest? Shark Week or SeaQuest?

I'll tolerate some moments of amusement interruption
But Nova? It's like an instructional on planet destruction
The program's worthless'less I learn a thing I didn't know
I can't glean a damn thing from That '80s Show
Combine the pages and the screen and see some Reading Rainbow
Play a little Game of Thrones with Tyrion and Jon Snow
Wearily this goes; next you'll have me watch Newsroom
Aaron Sorkin plus the news? Combination ensues gloom
Is it over soon? Did I earn college credit?
You don't get it -- Net terms; you're Wikipedia, I'm Reddit
Scoff yourself to death at all my cultural learning
You got your fast food fandom, but my taste is more discerning
Oh, you're discerning? I'm mindless when it comes to media?
Well, you cocksucker... fuck... fuck off!
Wax off, Jackass; no more Pontius and Steve-O
So tasteless, makes me wanna take a taser to the TiVo

Give me the god damned remote!
Real World, TED Talk, Splatalot, Why Not, please stop giving me brain rot 
Give me the god damned remote!
New Girl, 30 Days, Paper Say, Rebel’s Way, watch an episode Project Runway
Give me the god damned remote!
Transformers, Bill Nye, Family Guy, SyFy over Science Channel, Babylon 5
Give me the god damned remote!
Craft Corner, PBS, Meet the Press, Johnny Test or Johnny Quest? Shark Week or SeaQuest?