In-Con Sequential Art

Villain of the Day - Episode I

*** Intro ***

They'd paint me as a dictator
But monarchs are made of greater
Stuff and plumbers aside I've dealt with many haters, I'm tough
Something's different this time around
Got me stressin' my Fungal Crown
Usurpers with fairytale dreams abound
take 'em down the green pipe and watch em drown
Puts a frown on your peachy smile
Stay with this lizard for a while
Entice with inventions built for terror and style, be nice I'll
Turn you from a princess to a Queen
I'm the greatest king that you've ever seen
Empire of toads do my bidding, so sweet peach dream, I want your cream
But two fratelli displease me
These guineas don't go down easy
Wanted dead or alive as long as I can cook them for eating,
My many goombas all fail
My hammer brothers derailed
These two can't be the nail in the coffin of my kingly tail

*** Chorus ***

This world was mine from the first
But all consider me the worst
Villain to curse the remainder of serfs that remain on Third Earth
Back then I stood as the Divine
A Pharaoh God in earthly mein
Ancient Spirits of Evil, I'm deviled by these stellar felines
A despot I was meant to be
Unchallenged for eternity
Ever-living evil, Bolkins, Burbles all bow down to me
But Thunderans are on the move
Mow down mutants in servitude
These crude cavaliers of catlike courage come and crash my good mood
They scratch my patience to distraction
Defiance is their sole reaction
Allergic, surgical convergence, turn me with my own reflection
Infected with indignation, whence goes my due adulation?
Impatient, impossible, positively pwnd by frustration.

*** Chorus ***

My origin is meek and humble
A slave beaten when I might stumble
Grumbling belly, burning suns, and an inaudible mumble
Within my head, what did it mean?
Find myself smitten by machines
The screams of outlanders at races cheering once I met the Queen
Her soldiers claimed I had power
Masters debated for hours
Cowering cowards, dour dowagers, I was meant to tower
Over all others in my might
Take back the balance for the Light
So I excelled, and well enough that I ascended to Knight
My patience could not be sated
And so it seems I was fated
Elated by the proposition of dark lords castigated
I strike down all who stand against
A Lord beyond what they had sensed
I tense my tendons as I burn with power cold and immense
But that was all so long ago
On graves unmarked I stand alone
I've sown their earth with salt, assaulted and destroyed every clone
Beneath two suns another burns, from masters turned away he  learns
Returning paladin, ask yourself – can your father be turned?

*** Close ***