In-Con Sequential Art
Wednesday
Mar182015

Sucker

Can’t really say I roll with popular crowds; point of fact
My lone wolf’s more of a beagle, I got bounced out the pack
And flying squirrel wings don’t really rock the kind of clap
That a fat batch of bats brings when leather wings flap

There’s incisors and out-cisors in our dark race
I cause neither fear nor flush with this Goth ginger face
My place?  Mostly items from Spencer’s or Hot Topic
Name a type of skin disorder, you know I got it

Shingles, skin tags, acne, and psoriasis
Stretch marks, rashes, and polinidal cysts
Ring worm, rosacea, jock itch and hives
I’m undead, but somehow athlete’s foot survives

I’m not a figure of terror; I’m more pathetic than Jekyll
Being ghostly pale is pointless when you’re covered in freckles
My squeaky voice and acne keep me out of sexy lip-locks
I’m the only lick I know who listens to the nerdcore hip-hops

I’m just a sucker; sad soulless down on your luck-er
Sawbuck no-pluck-er, mealy-mouthed motherfucker
Just a sucker; callow shallow tail-tucker
Low class lazy ass lame duck-er

I’m just a sucker; sad soulless down on your luck-er
Sawbuck no-pluck-er, mealy-mouthed motherfucker
Just a sucker; callow shallow tail-tucker
Low class lazy ass lame duck-er

No manor, no castle, no mansion, no court
Just an efficiency apartment with a futon  pillow fort
Chatting up LiveJournal wiccans in the hopes to get them wet
But the sparkle on my skin is iridescent flop sweat

Crosses won’t repel me but they give me the runs
And garlic makes me wheezy like there’s grit in my lungs
My daytime dwelling is an ancient Frigidaire
Filled with dirt from my homeland – Burbank, if you care

Never mastered mesmerizing, unsurprising I guess
My big brother Victor takes the prizes, I get the rest
The deaf, the dumb, and the learning disabled
Couldn’t meet the measure of the fangs in the fables

More Bakula than Dracula, never quite a success
I swear I was more pale before my undeath
No great nemesis, I’ve no Simon Belmont
Though I’d like to kill the kerning of my homemade hell font

I’m just a sucker; sad soulless down on your luck-er
Sawbuck no-pluck-er, mealy-mouthed motherfucker
Just a sucker; callow shallow tail-tucker
Low class lazy ass lame duck-er

I’m just a sucker; sad soulless down on your luck-er
Sawbuck no-pluck-er, mealy-mouthed motherfucker
Just a sucker; callow shallow tail-tucker
Low class lazy ass lame duck-er

Most ghouls have cool names like Vincent, Bill, or Lestat,
My name is Kip, and apparently its meaning is “fat”
And while we’re all fussy eaters, this corpse must be a chooser
I’m Type O intolerant; a universal loser

I can’t see my own reflection so my hair is always fucked
The fact that I’m going bald is almost good luck
Thought I’d meet up during twilight, set up a LARP session
Seek out the mad men and artist but soon a dark lesson

No traction, bad reactions, and no great acceptance
Of a lad who just sought to sink his teeth into red wetness
Fuck this, I’m terrible at being an Edward
Moping, brooding, trying to get girls bedward

A sinner?  Yes!  A winner, nope!
None thinner, unblessed, no hope and all dope
I grope, can’t claw, with clammy cold hands
Sure, I’m a vamp, but second tuba in the band

I’m just a sucker; sad soulless down on your luck-er
Sawbuck no-pluck-er, mealy-mouthed motherfucker
Just a sucker; callow shallow tail-tucker
Low class lazy ass lame duck-er

I’m just a sucker; sad soulless down on your luck-er
Sawbuck no-pluck-er, mealy-mouthed motherfucker
Just a sucker; callow shallow tail-tucker
Low class lazy ass lame duck-er