In-Con Sequential Art
Monday
Mar302015

Suburban Carrion ["Suburban Champion" Parody]

I am a Zombie Hunter, the Walking Dead Drop Before Me
Dawn of the Dead – No, Untot from Undead to Dead Meat
They Must Eat now? Dinner's over, you're done
Because The Rage lives inside of me, and this is why I've won
The very last of the living, against masses of cold,
All of your asses need kicking, the tasks are passed to the bold
You're no Juan De Los Muertos, this is no Devil's Playground
BOOM! Goes my stick, your kind drops to the ground!
You're the Legion of the Night but Imma a dark GallowWalker
Tried to settle without a fight, but you're not much of a Talker
This is the end of the line, Flatline, Corpse Killers
This slayer isn't impressed, your just the dancers from thriller
Round Two

Evil Residents abound, by virus or voodoo
He's Chris, I'm Leon, and we're meaning to end you!
We cleaned up in the mall, blew up it on arrival
Just a shot to your brains, prevents a chance of revival
Forever Dead you'll become, back to a fictional tale
Scream for brains up in flames, watch you burn and flail
We've been putting you down for over 28 Weeks
Beat you down like a dog, y'all Fido Flesh Freaks
Geeks with guns gutting ghouls Gory Gory Hallelujah!
No remorse for the murders when the victims want to chew ya
Dropping dead in the streets, due to my 50 Caliber,
Pick up a sledge, smash your dead head like Gallagher!
Shotgun pump, hack and slash, we're both death dealing brothers
Have you starving for gray matter, like a Zombie Sally Struthers
Murdered with an oozie, blow torch, chainsaw, axe and machete .
This isn't Quick and the Dead, We're fucking MORE THAN READY
Zombiegore on the wall, splattered guts like spaghetti
We are the Massacre Makers, Hands of Death always Steady

I'll beat any Dead Rising like a prison snitch
Watch you don't get bit, less you become a lich (Bitch)
This isn't Weekend at Bernies, Your Boyfriend isn't Back
Their mouths are moaning and snarling (teeth covered in plaque) for a Zombie Attack
Be they Strippers or Ninjas or Kings Wasting Away