In-Con Sequential Art
Monday
Mar092015

Hard Roll

In the dark with that cold cut, in the black of the night
Seek to carve, must be bold 'cause pain of life is crackin’ my appetite
Just in sight, my design, desired diet at hand
Conspire to plan, gut grumbles a sandwich demand
I slam the bread down with the fury and the bluster
Then I get down with some deli-style spiced ground Chinatown tongue-drown mustard
Plus the crust curbs to reveal murdered flesh by the slice
Pastrami, ham, roasted turkey with habanero rub, chipotle spread to entice
Dice tomatoes tossed aside, taco night has been rejected
Cause my sandwich artist skills are abouts to be respected
Listen up, Jimmy John, you gone wrong with your sloppy fast iceberg garbage
This here’s a Dagwood hood, stacked high like ya should, with some corned beef marbleage
Pancetta trend seta cause there’s no one better on that horseradish tip
Po’ Boy Quizno, you don’t know, ‘bout that torta ahogada, shit
Add some twang to it, Muenster in the kitchen, international Vada Pav
Choke that ragusano down with that bitter hint, open your face to this sandwich god

Fuck cake! Fuck pie! We do it up sandwich!
In the kitchen our mission is mixin' fixin's like DAMN, BITCH!
And you can wish for finer, but you know me and mine're
The deli diner hardliners 'cause bread and cheese are my canvas

Belly up to the cluuuub, git that grub, we make it thugalicious
Get the dap from the rapper slappin' capicola wraps capricious (gabbagabbagoo!)
Dishes breakin', belly achin', taken by that hungry darkness
MC-3PO-ma-to, the great-o sandwich martial artist (UUUNGH!)
Make you my sam-bitch, mayo may not cut the mustard
General Custer cussin' up a Kaiser rollin' on all thrusters
Buster, butter bacon breakin' rules, my tools are tuned for doin' in
Fools who fumble submarines, you'll rue that Rueben you been ruinin'
Capers, easy-peasy, asiago sweezy-cheesy
Pickle tickle slickened ripple stipple Stilton, seldom greasy
Mozzarella, mortadella (Mwah!) muffuletta Mephisto
That's what I'm about; you can call me the Count of Monte Cristo
I'm laughin', rappin', you're clappin' for Captain Cold Cuts
Sho' nuff slappin' this salted salami, roll up!
Remoulade, applaud to your god, rosada burned bun
Peppercorn weapon delicatessen, lesson learned, son

Fuck cake! Fuck pie! We do it up sandwich!
In the kitchen our mission is mixin' fixin's like DAMN, BITCH!
And you can wish for finer, but you know me and mine're
The deli diner hardliners 'cause bread and cheese are my canvas

 Packin' pepperoni / oh, son, you know me / goin' HAM ON RYE
Pastrami, salami /  banh mi swami / MAN ON FIRE
Deli styles / well, we wildin', pilgrim / NICE TO KNOW YA
Dem belly rhymes / It's peanut butter jelly time / MY BOLOGNA
Schlotzky's can jock me / they'll never rock me / YO, WE DO THE DIP
Sloppy Joe / can't copy me, no / TWO HANDS, MAN, GET A GRIP
Flavors of favor / sweet, salt, or savor / Y'ALL WE DAMN GOOD
Layers on layers / Panini players / CALL ME DAGWOOD

Fuck cake! Fuck pie! We do it up sandwich!
In the kitchen our mission is mixin' fixin's like DAMN, BITCH!
And you can wish for finer, but you know me and mine're
The deli diner hardliners 'cause bread and cheese are my canvas