In-Con Sequential Art
Tuesday
Mar172015

Employment Opportunity

In this economy you’re desperate for employment
You quest for a calling combing cash and enjoyment
Well good news, we’ve come across some openings
So we’ll send you some specialty synopses, hoping these
Boons, benefits and wages will suit your needs, 
Whether monsters or mages, bots, brutes or thieves
We’re placing entry level employees of any ability
Reply with resume attached no experience necessary 

The brotherhood is hosting a big membership drive
We’re hoping hardy hearts and heavy hands will help them survive
We’ve got a problem to elide and don’t know how many people
It will take to chase that dangerous knave off of our steeple
How do you defend against attacks from the air?
#We did it well enough ‘til that bedamned Altair
So if you’re tough in the spine and hold your own in a fight
Then grab this sword and take the vow and we’ll all call you a knight

I’d like to talk to you about a position
It’s available immediately, a simple decision
Defeat one guy, one time, maybe three
Accept this opportunity and work for me

So you’ve got soldiering bona fides? Well that’s a plus.
Couple years shouldering armaments? Sign up with us
We’ve spent enough time subterranean to plan an attack
Kickin’ up dirt on the usurpers, take the planet back
I know they’re your own kind, but this world is our home
Battle the Locusts? Boy, don’t make me laugh, you sure shoulda known
That doom worm’s gonna rise, but let’s not get on a tangent
Put foot to ass against Fenix and frag all the fuckin’ Lambents

Here are a few options, for your consideration
Go offworld, new planets and a big-ass space station
Considerable opportunity for those with ambition
Who would prefer coin rather than revolution or sedition
Mission? Simple, find a commander and kill him
Who cares whether he’s a paragon or a renegade villain?
Equipment and Asari provided, when the objective is done
Openings with the Blood Pack, Eclipse, and the Blue Suns

I’d like to talk to you about a position
It’s available immediately, a simple decision
Defeat one guy, one time, maybe three
Accept this opportunity and work for me

You’re your own man, no need for socialism
Desire for placement is tantamount to communism
Optimism to be found 2000 leagues low
Prefer patriarchal experience, a fatherly glow
Simply serve and protect your assigned little sister
Defend her from suspect, man-made meddling mister
The spreading splicer population could be a problem
Unlimited atom to the first who would solve them

Not your cup of tea? Well let me just check my listings
How do you feel about fighting fearsome foes who are resisting
The mechanical onslaught of fornicating automatons
Assuming a cybernetic conversion would thence be undergone?
The paranormal dick and his fisticuffs friend
Must be perished altogether in an unpleasant end
For the fruit must be fucked, as my grandmum once quoted
Not up for full bionic transition? Duly noted.

I’d like to talk to you about a position
It’s available immediately, a simple decision
Defeat one guy, one time, maybe three
Accept this opportunity and work for me