In-Con Sequential Art
Friday
Feb122010

Clerkz

 

Land of the rising sun finally finds my bedroom
Half past noon and I gotta be at work soon
Wake my dead ass up drink a beer in the shower
Work starts on the hour, need my Nintendo Power
Fire flower shirt on and it's Donkey Kong gone
Flip the stereo on; Frontalot, "Pr0n Song"
Quick burrito at the Border ten minutes past due
See the game line queue, "Ma'am may I help you?"
Look at the shelves; fuck, anyone here speak English?
I wish another motherfucker would do this
Work my brain to the bone like a minimum wage slave 
Ejected from the Bat Cave, “You tell 'em, Steve-Dave!”
Checking new releases, fresh out of the box
No gameplay on the clock? manager can suck my cock
Crank the Xbox, we're doing this tonight
Competition on the right: Player 2 – Ready, Fight!

Did you bring in your trades? Would you like to reserve a game?
Did you buy something used? Would you like to reserve a game?
Do you want a subscription? Would you like to reserve a game?
No I’m sorry we don’t have it, would you like to reserve a game?

Sir? What? Do you need a strategy guide for your purchase?
A guide for Tetris?  Who the fuck would buy this?
We have posters and shirts for the game if you're a fan
A Tron headband, cover art for Mega Man?
Oh sorry, we don't have 'em, out of stock since last quarter
I could put it on order but our warehouse is in Mordor
Got a box full of trades gotta go up on the shelves
Ask our hourly elves?  Fuck, we're doing it ourselves

Cooking Mama - Daikatana
Secret and/or Sword of Mana
Yo! Noid - Metroid 
Dark Void – Arkanoid
Brain Age – Primal Rage
Rampage for N-Gage
Crimson Skies – Goldeneye
Far Cry – Skate or Die
God of War – Armored Core
Secret of Evermore
Clu Clu Land - Bomber Man 
Rising Zhan – Galaxian
Initial D – Mark of Kri
And every Final Fantasy
Final Fight – Black and White
Gyromite – Phoenix Wright

Arguing over which console was more ridiculous
Meticulous we declare Phillips victorious
Conflict erupts over who we'd rather sleep with
And if – we'd ever fuck a twi'lek she-Sith
Scrubbing down windows and dusting off the countertops
Organize the trade-in swaps; some are classics, some are flops
A mom walks up and asks which games are too adult
Add with that an insult, saying  games were like a cult
So we handed her a game with a phenomenal story
Not too gory?  No, the name's an allegory 
The game evangelizes that Satan's end is nigh
Nothing wrong with Devil May Cry
E is for everyone, that's why your mom is rated E
T – tame, titless like PG 13
M is for masterpiece, masturbate, malicious
Mutilation, molestation, everything delicious

Did you bring in your trades? Would you like to reserve a game?
Did you buy something used? Would you like to reserve a game?
Do you want a subscription? Would you like to reserve a game?
No I’m sorry we don’t have it, would you like to reserve a game?

Theme Park, Tiger Shark
Quark Alone in the Dark
Pokemon, Donkey Kong
Classic Pong, Digimon
Black Hawk Down, Toon Town
and Defender of the Crown
Pole Position, Bass Fishin' 
Race Ignition, Front Mission 
Mega Man, Peter Pan
Adventures of Jackie Chan
Golden T, Smash TV
Solomon's Key, Monopoly
Bushido Blade, Nightshade
Renegade Namco Arcade
Shaq Fu, Goonies II
Breakthru, Faxanadu

Dust off the old equipment no one buys and it's so sad
Powerglove is so bad, bath mat's a powerpad
Prop up Rob the Robot next to Virtual Boy
Mega Man is not a toy! Think of the robots he destroyed!
It's a statue that we sell and it's crafted in his honor
Next to a shot of Sarah Connor, leave a print and you're a goner
Closing time and we have to sort the trades,
This is how our money's made, resale markup gets us paid

Did you bring in your trades? Would you like to reserve a game?
Did you buy something used? Would you like to reserve a game?
Do you want a subscription? Would you like to reserve a game?
No I’m sorry we don’t have it, would you like to reserve a game?